A Changing Heart

The world has been on fire for the last couple of weeks. It’s always been hot but the murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor and the like at the hands of the police has set it off. The constant distress has been draining, making it hard to reconcile my feelings into words. I mostly felt angry and it didn’t feel right for me to only right from that standpoint.

Social media has flooded us with history and informed us on the oppression Black people across the world still face. As a collective, we’ve been privy to a violence I can’t comprehend.

As a Christian I recognised the need to balance my woes with hope. This confronted me with what I can do to change my own world. A common theme church leaders, like Mike Todd of Transformation Church, have conversed over has been how a modified heart is the only way to see progression. Confront the parts of it which ignorantly holds bias so you can dispel it. This transformation will help us to be advocates of justice and expand our circles to include everyone regardless of race, religion etc. It makes sense that one of our basic human duties is to stand up for anyone who is being afflicted right? ALL LIVES MATTER is a stupid statement if you will have no compassion for the murder of a trans-Indian male just because you disagree with their lifestyle. Good thing none of us are God.

BLACK Black

BLACK Black is what you could our honest heart. BB has its head under water in mixed company, only surfacing when it clocks a receptive face. Other than that it’s only in the mind, laughing and commenting.

Luckily enough I haven’t felt like the absolute ‘Other’ in my places of work but BB isn’t displayed in its full glory. Is that the opposite of authenticity? I shouldn’t feel awkward when BB creeps to the surface in my colleagues conversations, and they laugh how BB does or loosen words in line with what compliments the culture, but it kind of scares me. That the other people will see it as them being ‘too bold’ or it somehow shows us up. Obviously it doesn’t but I find myself wanting them to calm down before it goes too far. Too far into what though? I just never want there to be a reason for it to backfire onto us. I wince unnecessarily.

I don’t think I’m the only one who has felt this but I am working to make it baseless. BB won’t be understood or comfortable to everyone but its harmless and enriching. Therefore if BB chooses to naturally float to the surface, I will learn to embrace it wholeheartedly and defend its right.